Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
