I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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