dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize