i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
