All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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