I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
