Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
