Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
not ubering you a puppy
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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