i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm like, not good at living.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
