good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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