we have pet lesbian snakes
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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