I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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