I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize