North Korea, Best Korea!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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