Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
whose ass print is on the piano?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
