I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
