Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
