Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
