why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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