Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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