btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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