my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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