I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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