Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
