I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
