I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
