I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
