Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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