Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
