life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I cannot find my penis.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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