my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
