the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
