Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
