Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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