I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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