Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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