She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
this hospital has no fireball
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
