I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize