You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Michael Bay diarrhea
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
