I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
