Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
