I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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