I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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