u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
