I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
