Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you have to choose: penises or morals?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
