I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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