That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
