we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just google imaged poop.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
