is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize