I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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