There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
should my penis look like a turkey
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
