I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
