I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
