Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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