My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
