We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
