Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
