I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
high people should be assigned attendants
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
